are we to follow our parents’ expectations?
August 15, 2006sure, if it makes YOU happy as well.
the difficulty of parent-daughter or son relationships is the notion that one must adhere to the expectations of the parent or set of parents. emotions clash over whether the son should “follow his dream” of becoming a painter or take up accounting like his father. we all have versions of this debate going into our hearts and minds, and it either drives us to depression or mediocrity. one gets depressed over not fulfilling their dreams and having “settled” for what their parents want for them, which leads to the mediocre quality of their work and life, a feeling that one hasn’t done their best, or have reached their potential.
i live and work with my parents for close to two years now. i graduated hotel and restaurant management and the first job i took upon graduating was in a large call center. the college course was entirely my choice, and with my affinity with food and cooking then, i wanted to go to cooking school, which my mother agreed to. concerns rose up when my mother discovered that i would be learning cooking with older people, and the fact that i won’t be able to experience a “normal” college life. thus, i enrolled in the best school for hotel and restaurant management at my time. i wasn’t a great student, my grades weren’t that high, but i had higher grades in the subjects that i was really interested in, which ironically were not major subjects related to my course. imagine getting A’s in women’s studies and psychology. oh yeah, i think i got an A also in tourism. i never lost my affinity for cooking since i usually become one of the chefs in our functions and parties, and it was also in college that i have discovered that i loved to bake more than to cook, having assembled our first cake laden with fondant icing, marzipan flowers, and other cake accessories that are too good to eat. becoming an officer in a college organization became my distraction (as my mother puts it) to getting the grades she would have liked and eventually caused my delay in graduating. at the time, i thought the organization would teach me management skills in which i couldn’t learn in the classroom, and in hindsight, i was right. though i felt it was a moment in my life that i felt i have digressed and strayed away from doing what i had loved to do, i had learned a lot from my years as one of the officers in that organization. it has also served its purpose too in where i am now, where i am managing and leading more, than doing and following orders more.
my first love had always been to write, i did a lot of writing when i was a teenager and wanted to become a journalist or a novelist, though such careers don’t bring home much money unless you’re one of those shady journalists. my second love was food and creating food, either baking or cooking, but where am i now?
i’m doing neither. perhaps because of serendipity and the fact that i have been without a job for a year, i ended upbeing with my parents, learning the ropes going from one department to another, learning the systems, analyzing the shortcomings in their systems and guiding our people to do things the right way. it is really challenging and fulfilling to be working in the family business, you get to mee the best kind of people and also the worst kind of people. there are times that you are so filled with hope and promise on what is to come and on the growth and development of the company, and there are also times in which you think that hope is all gone and that pinoys are all hopeless because of many reasons.
am i happy? sometimes, but i am not going to look for something that makes me 100% happy, because i’ve realized that there is no such thing. as for what will happen in the future of our business, i will just try to learn whatever i need to learn, change whatever i need to change, and grow and grow and grow while i have the opportunity to. being the daughter of the owner has its perks, you never get fired, you can take your time to know the business and you can make changes to the systems and make it better. the only downside i could think of is that you don’t own your time especially when you are living with your family, but that’s just a personal problem than the norm.
i have indeed followed my parents’ footsteps, but i am also making my own mark.
August 14, 2006
| You Are an Old Soul |
 You are an experienced soul who appreciates tradition. Mellow and wise, you like to be with others but also to be alone. Down to earth, you are sensible and impatient. A creature of habit, it takes you a while to warm up to new people. You hate injustice, and you’re very protective of family and friends A bit demanding, you expect proper behavior from others. Extremely independent you don’t mind living or being alone. But when you find love, you tend to want marriage right away. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul and Visionary Soul |
book review: Why Do I Love These People? By Po Bronson
August 9, 2006
Po’s work is overridden with compassion and understanding towards the people he interviewed in this project, and to the readers, he offers a fresh point of view that makes you understand your own family more and see it through different, more compassionate eyes. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, families are a part of you and the nuances and indiosyncrancies that they bring makes you the you that you know and have a love-hate relationship with.
This book is a must-read.
from Po’s website: http://www.pobronson.com
WDILTP Wins Parenting Gold Award
From Po:
I learned last night that Why Do I Love These People? is a winner of the National Parenting Publications’ Gold Award for Best Books of the Year. This is a wonderful honor to receive, especially because I know darn well that the committee had to go out of their way to crown WDILTP - it’s not a traditional parenting book. They actually mentioned this in their commendation, which reads: “While not a typical parenting resource, this amazing book recounts the struggles and joys of real families who have shown incredible resilience. Every member of every family has experiences that they have never spoken about, or perhaps have never even allowed themselves to think about. This book can lift the weight of those secrets by offering a deep and caring look into the tensions that threaten to pull families apart and the bonds that hold them together, even in the face of terrible injustice, hardship or suffering. You may not agree with all of Bronson’s assumptions or conclusions, but chances are good that this moving and beautiful book will change how you think about yourself, your own family and all families.”
I hope this helps bring the book to more parents. I am working with Random House right now on the plan for the paperback edition of the book, which will land in bookstores January 2007. The book will have a new jacket image, looking like this:
We went with this jacket because as we, the audience, is walking in that door to that house, we understand who “these people” are - the people in the house, the family we’re going to visit, and whatever trepidation or anticipation we might be feeling.
